The Startled Look in My Daughter’s Eyes 女兒眼中那驚恐的表情
This photo of my daughter and me was taken in May,2001, about one month after I was released from Beijing Female Labor Camp. I had been imprisoned there for one year for practiced Falun Gong(http://en.falundafa.org/introduction.html). Five days after my release, I ran away from my home to avoid being taken back to the brain-washing center. I tried to help my sister, who was also a Falun Gong practitioner ; and who had been living in hiding for months, to escape; but failed. She was caught on a bus on the day when we planned to run away together by train. I had a narrow escape; and flew to Shanxi alone. 我被釋放後五天,就再次被迫從家中逃走,以免再被抓回洗腦班。我祕密潛回四川成都,試圖幫助躲在那裏的妹妹逃到一個更安全的所在。她也因修煉法輪功而遭通緝。然而,她在最後一刻被公安抓住了,我只好獨自坐飛機逃往山西。 My 8 year old daughter was waiting for me in Shanxi. It happened to be her school holiday. She didn’t know that I was chased by the police. She thought I was taking her out to have a good time together. 當時正值女兒五一長假,我就讓她到山西來與我相聚,我帶她出去玩。這張照片就是在那個情況下、在那個「時節」的。我並沒有告訴女兒,我不在家呆,是爲了躲避警察,所以她以爲我是帶她出來度假的。 However, she did know that I had just been imprisoned for one year; and she also knew that to practice Falun Gong was dangerous. She herself had been discriminated in school because her mother had been sent to labor camp, where only bad people were supposed to be held. Therefore, as you can see in the photo, there was a terrified, startled and puzzled look in my daughter’s eyes, as well on her face. This look had not been there before I was taken away from her by the police; and this look had really pained and troubled me deeply for a very, very long time. 然而,她知道,媽媽剛剛在勞教所被關押一年,在中國,修煉法輪功仍然是危險的,連講都不能對外講的,而她本人也因此受盡歧視,甚至不得不轉學。因而大家可以看到,在這張照片中,剛剛8歲的她,眼睛中有一種以前從未有過的驚恐、不安和怯生——在我被送入勞教所之前,她不曾有過這種眼神和表情。在很長一段時間裏,她的這個眼神和表情,都深深地刺痛著我的心。
Click here for info about where to read or buy Jennifer's book in English and Chinese, as well as where to watch award winning documentary based on Jennifer's story: "Free China: The Courage to Believe" 曾錚自傳《靜水流深》及紀錄片《自由中國》閱讀觀看鏈接: ***********************************************************
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