长鼻子老外：我很喜欢和中国漂亮女孩约会

xiangxiang

作者：Trevor Metz(加拿大) 朱磊/编译

　　先介绍一下我的女朋友，晶晶。她以前有过一段婚姻，是同一位中国男士，她曾经约会过别的外国人，我也不是第一个和她有长期关系的外国男子。所以，她应该是一个很平衡的参照物，在比较两种文化不同的问题上很有发言权。

　　首先我问她，外国男人什么方面吸引了她。她说，“西方人很简单，一次约会过后，我就知道他是好人还是坏蛋。我喜欢和一个英俊的西方男子在一起，而被别人注意的那种感觉。西方男人比中国人看上去更强壮，更高，更英俊，我喜欢这种感觉。”

　　当我问到西方男人的态度时，她说：“西方男士对中国女孩更有礼貌；他们更注重自己的形象和生活细节；他们看上去更干净，也更有趣；和中国男人相比，他们更了解世界。我觉得他们更聪明些。”

　　接下来我又问她，和一个外国人拍拖有什么不好的地方吗？她回答道：“我喜欢一些人看我的眼光，不过另外一些人对我的看法使我感到很不快。他们会问：为什么你这么一个漂亮的中国女孩，会想到要和一个老外拍拖？他们在你身后议论，谈些让你不快的事情。”

　　她说，同外国人交往也不是一帆风顺的，因为存在着巨大的文化差异。有些细节她认为很重要，而西方男人就不会认真对待。“西方人都很自私。他们只想到自 己，而不管其他人。比如，吃东西的时候，他们从不会问女孩是不是想先尝一口，只是抓起自己想吃的就大嚼起来。而中国人则喜欢首先考虑别人。这只是我举的一 个例子，还有很多其他不同。”

　　我知道这样做是在玩火，不过我还是问，她喜欢我和不喜欢我哪些地方？她说：“我很喜欢你，所以我想为你做些什么。我喜欢你的诚实，你很善良，对我也很 好。我喜欢你的个性，但你跟朋友出去玩也太频繁了吧。你们总是去酒吧喝酒玩飞镖，把女朋友忘在脑后。每当这时我就很愤怒。”

　　最后我问她最想改变我什么，如果能够的话。她说：“我不想改变你，那样你就变成别人了。我只是希望你好，我不希望你抽烟、喝酒，我希望你身体健康。”我不得不说，男人需要发泄，玩几次飞镖，喝几杯啤酒和偶尔抽几根烟，没有你想的那么十恶不赦。

　　我很喜欢和中国女孩约会。我觉得我的女朋友很诚实，也很会照顾人。我知道不是每个中国女孩都喜欢西方男人，同样也不是每个西方男子都喜欢中国女孩。不过我觉得这样的组合还不错，我们看上去都明白各自的需要。

　　这就是我想写出来的，其中也许有些道理吧。我不想在此下什么结论，因为这不是我的观点。我希望这篇文章不要激怒什么人，尽管我可以预见很多人看了会有些不快。不管怎么样，越来越多的外国人来到了中国，也许到了你们改变态度的时候了。

　　(本文作者系加拿大广播公司专栏作家)
长鼻子老外：我很喜欢和中国漂亮女孩约会

　　By Trevor Metz

　　Why do foreigners like Chinese women? We just do. You have read all that before but I am going to try to illustrate why Chinese girls like western guys. I am sure the following column is going to offend some people but I don’t mean it as a slap in the face. I am writing it purely to provide some insight. I am using my girlfriend as my Guinea Pig. If you don’t know what that means, it’s not as offensive as it sounds. It means I am going to use her as my subject for the column.

　　To give you some background on my girl, Jing Jing, she has dated foreign guys before. I am not the first foreign man she has had a long relationship with. She has also been married before to a Chinese man so she has a balanced frame of reference. I am not saying she is the ultimate authority but she can put the two cultures in perspective.

　　I first asked her, what attracted her to foreign men? She said, “Western guys are easy to read. I know if they are good or bad guys after one date.” She also said, “I like the attention I get from being with a handsome western man. I think western men are stronger looking than Chinese men. I like that they are taller and more handsome.”

　　When it comes to western attitudes Jing Jing says, “Western men are more polite to Chinese girls. They pay more attention to the details of their appearance and life. They are cleaner and they are more interesting. They know more about the world than Chinese men do. I just feel they are smarter.”

　　I told you this column would offend some of you.

　　I then asked her, what are the bad things about dating a foreigner? She said, “While I like the way some people look at you, I don’t like the way others look at you. They ask, “Why is such a pretty Chinese girl is dating a foreigner?” They talk behind you and say unpleasant things.”

　　She says it isn’t all peaches and cream dating a foreigner. Jing Jing says there are huge cultural differences. She says little things matter to her that western men don’t take seriously. “For instance, westerners are very selfish. It seems they just think about themselves and not care about others. Like when they are eating. They never ask the girl if she wants to eat first. They just grab what they want and eat it. Chinese people like to take others in consideration first. That’s just one of the many differences.”

　　I was playing with fire here when I asked her, what it was about me that she disliked or liked? I knew I was not going to like the answers I got back but I had to ask anyway. She said “You are the person I really like so I want to do things for you. I like that you are honest. I think you are kind with a good heart and you treat me very well. I like your personality. But I don’t like when you go out too often with your friends. You go to bars and drink beers and play darts. You all ignore your girlfriends. It makes me crazy when you do these things!”

　　I finally asked her what she would change about me if she could. She said, “I don’t want to change you. Then you would be someone else. I like you. I just want you to be good. I don’t want you smoking and drinking beers. I want you to be healthy.” I had to chuckle about this. I like having beers and playing darts. I have cut back on my vices but I can’t seem to give up altogether. I don’t think I could keep my sanity in Beijing if I did. I hate to break this to you ladies, but men need an outlet. A few dart, beers, and smokes in moderation are not that bad.

　　Personally I really like dating a Chinese girl. I find her very honest and caring. She makes me take this awful medicine when I am sick. She makes me eat my vegetables. I love the way she cuddles up next to me in bed. I like the way she breaks out into hysterics every time I take off my shirt. She calls me “Da Xing Xing”! Or monster! Or Peng Wawa, which I think means fat baby. I know not every girl prefers western guys and not every western guy prefers Chinese girls, but I think for the most part it’s a good fit. We seem to understand each other’s needs.

　　Now, to finally offend those who have not been offended yet, here we go. I asked her about sex about two months before I did this interview but remember clearly what she said. She mused that western men are much better in bed. She found we take our time with sex and concentrate more on the women’s pleasure. She said she found western men were a little larger in the pleasure regions as well. I had to laugh about this. I am not sure if this is something that Chinese girls tell their western boyfriends to make them feel good or not, but she seems pretty sincere. She said that her ex-husband just took care of business and rolled over. She said she knew there was more to sex and she felt frustrated by her sex life. Again, guys, I am not saying western men are bigger and better at sex; I am just retelling my girlfriend’s experiences.

　　So there you have it. Perhaps there is some insight in there somewhere. I can’t come to any conclusions from this because they are not my opinions. I hope this isn’t offensive, although I can imagine it won’t make many men are going to be happy. But then again, maybe it’s time for a change in attitudes as more and more foreigners come to China.